Are we suffering Deja Vu Australia? January was a horrific month of violence for Australian women, and it comes off a similar number of murders prior to Christmas and earlier in 2022. So far in 2023, a woman has been murdered every five days and yet men continue to remain silent on the issue.
Violence against women is a pervasive problem with a corrosive impact on the whole of society. As members of this society, men have a duty of care to advance women’s safety, prevent sexual assault and ultimately bring an end to women being murdered.
The opportunity for woman to live full and equal lives is threatened by this ongoing scourge of violence and abuse, which is a violation of human rights and a stain on our communities. Men and women have the ability to make our world safer, more inclusive and more egalitarian, by joining forces to eradicate the violence.
Women and children are not alone in benefiting from the promotion of women’s safety – we all do. It contributes to a more stable and equitable society, which results in happier families and healthier relationships. It also promotes economic growth by allowing women to participate fully in the workplace and give back to their communities.
Legislation passed last year to enshrine 10 days of paid family domestic violence leave in Australian workplaces will provide victims and survivors with an opportunity to attend legal and medical appointments, find housing, schools, childcare and other essential supports. Access to reliable income is one of the most significant determinants in the decision to leave a violent relationship.
And at the very heart of this issue, protecting women from men’s violence is a matter of fundamental human decency and respect.
The link between gender inequality and family and domestic violence is not a zero-sum proposition.
Nobody loses in the move towards gender equality and those who seek to erode its progress are speaking from a place of fear, anxiety, shame, or misinformation.
There can be various reasons why men remain silent on preventing domestic violence, firstly it can simply come down to a lack of awareness – some men may not fully understand the scope and impact of domestic violence, or the role they can play in preventing it.
Secondly, there’s social stigma – often there’s cultural baggage and unhealthy attitudes surrounding domestic violence, which can discourage men from speaking out and seeking help. There’s also the fear of being blamed – men may worry that if they speak out, they will be accused of being part of the problem, rather than being part of the solution.
In addition, traditional gender roles and outdated stereotypes can lead to men feeling like they are not supposed to talk about or get involved in issues that are seen as “women’s issues.”
Finally, there’s the issue of disbelief – some men don’t believe that domestic violence is a serious problem, or minimise the severity of the abuse, again based on outdated norms of what the dynamics of a relationship between a man and a woman should look like.
We know the discussion around women’s safety and gender equality can make some men uncomfortable, but discomfort doesn’t compare to living in fear of losing your life or livelihood. It isn’t nearly as crushing as the weight of feeling unsafe to walk down the street or catch a taxi alone. Unsafe to speak out about sexual harassment in the workplace, or knowing your phone is being tracked.
It’s fine for men to be apprehensive about this topic, but these are the times they can learn the most. Lean-in to the discomfort, participate in the discussion, listen, learn, make errors, get back up, and keep going until you are confident in your ability to contribute to the change.
All of us have a responsibility to shift the gender-based attitudes and social practises that perpetuate violence and disrespect against women. By breaking the silence, we can help to raise awareness, challenge harmful cultural norms, and promote a safer, more just and equitable world for everyone.
The death of a woman at the hands of a current or former partner every five days is simply unacceptable. We need to do better in 2023 and break the cycle now.
Allan Ball
National Director
White Ribbon Australia
